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Joke of the Day

"When I'm mad at my kid, I don't put the straw from the juice box in their school lunch."

"For those of you who try to build a pool by digging a pit in the ground, what liquid should you add instead of chlorine? Holey water."

"""Sir you're gonna have to stop masturbating"" said the Doctor. ""Why"" ""Its hard to examine you if you keep moving""."

"What do porn and heavy metal have in common? Both used to have a lot more hair back in the 70's and 80's"

"If I went house hunting I'd take a really big gun."

"Can't afford anti-depressants so I'm just drinking No More Tears shampoo."

"When women say ""It's not what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts"", we all know they are talking about a Man's wallets."

"My computer is going very very ... FAST. IT Helpdesk joke"

"I am just a boy, standing in front of a milkshake, wondering by what sorcery it beckoned me to this yard"

"What do you call a Mexican melon? A cantelopez! Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability."