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Joke of the Day
"Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it's not just women who won't marry you."
Next Joke
"My date cancelled; said he had an emergency. I just saw him at the market buying cereal and I thought, 'I agree with his priorities.'"
"You know what my favorite Armchair book is? Mein Kampfy Kouch"
"What do you call too many chickens on a farm? A cluster cluck."
"Two men walk into a BAR... The third one ducked!"
"I'm not saying... Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died."
"Garden Water Features by Lily Pond"
"When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread... it's called gluten tag. I'll show myself out."
"They advertise unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. But I can personally attest that after 9 days Olive Garden asks you to leave."
"SEX RESULTS Sex shouldn't result in pregnancy. If we were perfect beings, sex would have two functions: for pleasure and to complicate friendships."