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Joke of the Day

"For those of you who try to build a pool by digging a pit in the ground, what liquid should you add instead of chlorine? Holey water."

"I was just wondering, if you're not too busy sometime, maybe I could pet your dog"

"When does a lawyer make coffee? When he has sufficient grounds"

"Zombies are categorically asexual as they are more interested in taking head than giving head."

"I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was."

"Gonna take up smoking, just in case I have to give an anonymous tip from the shadows at some point."

"Can't believe I'm not invited to things I'd never go to."

"Q: What do you call a bench full of white people?A: The MLB."

"I have a serious inflation fetish... So I moved to zimbabwe."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape? Elephant grape sine theta."