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Joke of the Day

"I introduced my new girlfriend to my family last night... ""This is my dad Roger,"" I said, ""And this is my twin brother Dave."" ""Nice to meet you,"" she smiled. ""Who's the oldest?"" I said, ""My dad."""

"Hey man, 1980 called. It wants its--oh, can you hold on? I've got 1945 on the other line, and he's conferencing in 1973 so I should get this"

"When I do laundry I tell people I'm going to 1943 Cause I got to separate the whites and colors"

"A physicist sits down at a bar. What does he order? Ein stein"

"What do you call a reindeer trapped in a storm? A Thundeer"

"Can't decide whether to go to bed or to finish this Rubik's cube I started in 1988."

"Why do women love men who work with Horses? Because those men have got Stable jobs."

"When you clean a vacuum cleaner You become a vacuum cleaner"

"Wearing contact lenses for the first time. My vision's gone from YouTube to Blu-Ray."

"COP: Describe the robber to our sketch artist ME: He had one eye higher than the other and his lips on his forehead PICASSO: I got this"