5688

Joke of the Day

"Didn't u hate it when as a kid u got the ""mystery flavor"" lollipop & the mystery ended up being that your parents got divorced (Or lemon)?"

"It's not often people compliment my parking.... but the other day, I came back from work and saw a piece of paper on may car that said ""Parking Fine"". That was nice of them!"

"The new mouthwash I bought says ""24 HOUR PROTECTION ....use twice daily"""

"Turkeys are crazy. They hunch down and freeze in groups in grocery store coolers to elude hunters. Must be a safety in numbers thing."

"Gaining Weight? ...It's a piece of cake!"

"Remember that scene in Die Hard qhen the hero squeezes the magazine's boobs? Now he can really die hard."

"""Bob's here"" Bob the surgeon or Bob who just pretends he's a surgeon? ""We only know one Bob and he's an accountant"" *arm falls off*"

"Teach a man to fish & you have fed him for a lifetime. Teach your kid to make a good martini & you won't give a crap about fish or men."

"This has to be the worst date I have ever had. That includes the time that I accidentally answered my uncle's personal ad...."

"What do you call a beautiful girl in Boston? A tourist."