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Joke of the Day

"Instead of yelling at jerk who cuts u off in traffic just chuck a realistic rubber snake in their window & yell ""have at him Damian!"""

"Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken. >:|"

"LOOKING FOR awful pi jokes! Just found out my friend hates them. Please give me your worst pi day/pi jokes!"

"I have a habit... I have a habit of flipping around letters in a word. You say pencil, I say cenpil. You say banana, I say nababa. You say popcorn, I shut up."

"Accidentally watched a few minutes of The Bachelor and now I can't remember a single state capitol."

"GUESS WHAT I SAW! Wood."

"me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that"

"Doctor Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear that's a lot of calories!"

"Why do peasants watch the Weather Channel? To get the serf report"

"Here's to the kisses that I snatched, and Vice versa. Bottoms up fellas."