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Joke of the Day

"I have a habit... I have a habit of flipping around letters in a word. You say pencil, I say cenpil. You say banana, I say nababa. You say popcorn, I shut up."

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"Making the Most of Life by Maxie Mumm"
"The toughest decision I will make today is wine or beer... Life is rough.."
"WARNING: I WILL NOT STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND BUT I MIGHT STEAL YOUR CAT"
"Facebook Status: I caught your boyfriend having internet sex with one of my Farmville sheep."
"Saw my mate wanking today oops that was meant to say 'Wayne King', damn auto correct."
"[3 dads circling new neighbor on their bikes] ""im not looking for any trouble"" all three dads in unison: HI NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE IM DAD"
"What do you call having sex in a canoe? Bud Light, because it's fucking close to water."
"WHITE GIRL: im not a dog person, im not a cat person, im a people person ME: (whispering to my dog) i think that means she owns slaves"
"Frankly auto correct,I'm getting tired of your shirt."