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Joke of the Day

"How do you start a conversation with a bunch of idiots? HELLLOOOOO AMERICA!"

"Arnold's new tell all book. Arnold Schwarzenegger just wrote a new tell all book because no one could understand his audio book."

"My sex life is like Coca-Cola; first it was normal, then light and now zero."

"Hey girl are you the IRS, because you're all up in my business."

"Your Parents divorced because your Dad didn't want to put your talentless paintings on the fridge."

"What do we say to Boris Johnson and Donald Trump running the world? Hair Hair!"

"A hippo comes to a doctor... with a toad on his head. - What seems to be the problem? - There's something stuck to my ass, - answers the toad."

"[spelling bee] -your word is 'amnesia' -can you use it a sentence, please? -your word is 'amnesia'"

"I used to be addicted to having sex with bars of soap. But then I came clean."

"What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore will sleep with anyone, a bitch will sleep with anyone but you."