56596

Joke of the Day

"What did the boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet."

"So, A Helium Molecule walks into a bar... the bartender says ""we don't serve don't serve noble gases here."" It Doesn't React!"

"Why don't hipsters shoot heroin? It's too mainstream"

"What do pussy and cigarettes have in common? There's more flavor the closer you get to the butt."

"""I knew he was the murderer when I saw him on the dance floor,"" Holmes said. ""You see, Watson, guilty feet have got no rhythm."""

"You're so fat, they oughta call your dick ""Gary Oldman"" ...Cause it always disappears into a roll."

"I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts. Well sew it seams anyway."

"Mother: Fred why did you put a slug in your grandma's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake."

"Sent this guy 27 texts in the last hour and haven't heard back so I guess I should probably drive over to his house and make sure he's okay."

"List of the best jokes on this sub: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3x7nqa/list_of_the_best_jokes_on_this_sub/"