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Joke of the Day

"What do pussy and cigarettes have in common? There's more flavor the closer you get to the butt."

"The stock broker said to his mistress I'm going to put everything I've got into rubber, and if it comes off I'll marry you."

"At least Mexicans make good immigrants and don't bomb nobody."

"Urine is the opposite of you're out."

"I like it when my kids are old enough to drink out of the toilet on their own. That way I don't have to get out of bed to get them a drink."

"I really hate people who never have bread for breakfast... You can say I'm lack toast intolerant I'll ^see ^^myself ^^^out"

"I was on a date last night and the girl said my breath smells like fire. I said, ""yeah, I ate my mixtape."""

"I love how you can tell how slutty a girl is by the size of her hoop earrings."

"A man walked into a cafe in Mexico... ""Hello!"" he says to a squeamish waiter. ""Do you have any Mexican Jews?"" ""Hmm... let me check in the back"" the waiter replied. That's when the condom broke."

"I like my woman like my espresso; Bitter, exhilarating, and some sort of Italian I guess."