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Joke of the Day

"Why don't hipsters shoot heroin? It's too mainstream"

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"Six U.S congress men die and go to heaven."
"Why didn't the scarecrow win his award? Because he was outstanding in his field"
"What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major."
"What do you call a Vulcan sheep? Shbaaaaaaaahk"
"My doctor diagnosed me with premature ejaculation and diarrhea. I feel like I'm always coming and going."
"What helps keep your teeth together? Toothpaste."
"What's a zombie's favorite snack? Fritos"
"To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: You can hide, but can't run!"
"Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune? She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement."