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Joke of the Day

"How long does it take To microwave a baby? I'm too busy jerking of to watch a timer."

"DEMON: [roars] KNEEL, MORTALIT IS I, BAELROTH THE SPOON-HIDER ME: omg what're u gonna do to me? DEMON: werewere you not listening just now"

"A photon both raises his hand and shouts ""Goodbye!"" It's a wave and a parting call."

"(Very blue/dirty) What's the difference between regular blood and period blood? You can't eat normal blood with a fork."

"What is a bear's favourite drink ? Koka-Koala !"

"I went to ferguson and all I got was this stupid T-Shirt And this cash register, and this Xbox, and this flat screen tv."

"After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying... ""As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."""

"Did you hear about the hillbilly who was called to testify in court? When he spoke you could only see the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."

"What does Mortal Kombat and a church in Helsinki have in common? Finnish Hymn!"

"A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first The leaf. The rope stopped the emo"