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Joke of the Day

"A photon both raises his hand and shouts ""Goodbye!"" It's a wave and a parting call."

"A baby that is starting to wake up from a nap is like a solar eclipse. Whatever you do, do not look directly at it."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"Toilets that automatically flush before I'm done make me feel like every relationship I've ever been in."

"One time someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there."

"Where does the thumb meet its type? At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!"

"Two fish were in a tank.. one turned back and said to another..""How do you drive this thing?"""

"What does a German snake say? "

"What's the best time to buy a bird? When it goes cheep!"