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Joke of the Day

"Give me a compliment? Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"I'll stop at nothing... ...to avoid using negative numbers."

"My boss keeps telling me I've got my thumb up my ass... Considering it's an adult film, I'm not sure if I'm going to get fired."

"Why don't people in Kuwait know who Obama is? Because they've been living under Iraq."

"What did the type setter sing while he worked? I shot the seriff, but I did not shoot the deputy!"

"Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: So it could become a first-aid kit."

"What's a vampire's favourite dance? The vaults!"

"What do vegetarian zombies eat ? terri schiavo"

"What are some outstanding hamburger colleges? Brandeis Cowlifornia State Hoofstra Pen State Ranchelaer Polytechnic Burgereley and Moosouri!"

"can a women make you a millionaire? yes,if you are a billionaire!"