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Joke of the Day

"Them: Can you describe yourself in five words? Me: Stay at home couch accessory."

"What did the male telescope say to the hot female telescope? HUBBLE HUBBLE!"

"I'll admit that my jokes are cheesy, but even then the ones I find hilarious my friends don't find funny at all They must be laughtose intolerant"

"""Dad"" said Fred to his father who was a bank robber. ""I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."" ""OK son"" said his dad ""I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."""

"A German lands in Paris... Upon having his passport verified, the French officer asks him: -Occupation? -Oh, no no, just visiting!"

"What word becomes shorter when you add two letters? Short."

"If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year"

"I'm with you, Hungry Hungry Hippos. I don't find small plastic balls very filling, either. I can't believe this what you guys eat in Africa!"

"I never thought that the Internet was very useful but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better then the one you had before."

"What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito? Your mom doesn't stop sucking when I smack her"