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Joke of the Day

"When I die, my last thought will probably be ""Man that falcon looks pissed."""

"Let's spend the rest of our next 5 to 7 years together."

"Got this one from my nephew Knock knock. Who's there? Hoo. Hoo who? Big summer blowout!"

"Jenna Jameson to Oprah, ""There's a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone."" I'm pretty sure she got that backwards."

"Why do we need iron in our diets? Because it's good ferrous."

"I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this."

"Experiment: text your parents ""got 2 grams for $40"" then right after ""Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you"" Then tweet pic of their response."

"Why can't you reveal someone's private information online while flying? Because that would be a para-dox."

"Did you know semen leaves the body at almost thirty miles per hour? This means it's illegal to ejaculate in a school zone. I don't think the speed was why I was arrested though."

"What do you call a seaside shanty for kids without parents? A wharfanage"