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Joke of the Day

"Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster."

"Whenever you see a sword swallower perform, it makes you wonder what sort of activities they used to do to make them realize they had this talent."

"Whats the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea green soup? Anyone can roast beef."

"I think the blue states should get the taco trucks first, and the red states have to wait, because elections have consequences."

"No thanks, World Cup. If I wanted to watch dudes run around for 3 hours and leave with a tie, I'd just go to Sears."

"What do you call a horny dog??? Nothing. So he doesn't come..."

"For sale: Thick layer of dust As seen on TV."

"Just been sacked from my job as a chef for stealing I've always been a whisk taker."

"I've been trying to figure out why I overslept today. Just realized drunk me set my calculator for $7.30."