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Joke of the Day

"I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this."

"Is it solipsistic in here? Or is it just me?"

"What happened when Cinderella got to the ball ? She gagged."

"""I beat you, fair and square"" - Me telling you what I did to you, where I did it, and what my favorite shape is"

"the worst part of the robot uprising will be the constant software updates"

"Mr. Penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his bestfriend is a pussy and his owner beats him habitually!"

"I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do"

"Ask your doctor if practicing medicine is right for him"

"What is a four-letter word for a woman that ends in ""unt""? Aunt."

"Then there were 3 sets of footprints & God said ""This is Deb. She answered my Craigslist ad & U r the one who said we should try new things"""