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Joke of the Day

"I pulled a hamstring and a pig fell from the ceiling and gave me a hug"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? Nobody pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face."

"TIFU by getting on the wrong submarine Oops, wrong sub."

"You wanna know who sounds like an owl?"

"I could be way funnier with like, 143 characters to work with."

"The first thing they teach you in AA is to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back."

"Avoided a copay by having my annual physical at Antiques Roadshow. Clean bill of health, plus I found out I'm worth $150."

"How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster? On a piece rate."

"Wrestling is so stupid I can't believe people pay to watch people without pants risk their lives for a belt"

"""We don't serve time travelers here"" A time traveler walks into a bar."