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Joke of the Day
"I could be way funnier with like, 143 characters to work with."
Next Joke
"How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?"
"I read a metalworking book on how to attach two pieces of sheet metal together. The story was riveting."
"I'm one more weekend on the couch away from being a throw pillow."
"I love when girls say they need a man that can keep up with them... but immediately go into hysterics when I catch them."
"What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common? They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV"
"Hubs: How long has your car been doing that? Me: ? Hubs: The engine smoking at a stoplight? Me: I dont know, I look at my phone at lights."
"Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10? Because : he still loves vista,baby!"
"Why is rotten egg the best comedian? He's got a funny yolk."
"What do North Korea and my girlfriend have in common? Neither want me coming inside them."