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Joke of the Day

"The first thing they teach you in AA is to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back."

"Statistics show that six out of seven dwarfs... ...aren't happy."

"Whats this new apple product I keep hearing about? A: Whats this new apple product I keep hearing about? B: Which one? A: the I-sis"

"It's okay Microsoft Excel even my love life is not responding."

"How do you kill 20 flies at once? Slap that little Ethiopian in the face."

"My wife and I decided to have kids... ...for lunch. Fried children are yummy."

"Jokes don't kill people people who don't get jokes kill people."

"The homeless problem would be solved if. . . . . the Big Issue had tits in it."

"What do a tomato and a gay quadriplegic have in common? They are both fruits that are kind of like vegetables."

"Start a slow-clap in a quiet, crowded room. The first person that joins you, marry them. They're your soulmate."