211081

Joke of the Day

"You wanna know who sounds like an owl?"

"What's the difference between a jew and a dollar? It's illegal to burn a dollar."

"I have a joke to tell. Can you reddit?"

"*Pets a blob in the dark to see if its my cat* *I'm still not sure*"

"The only people I know I'm superior to are the ones who announce the break they're taking from Facebook."

"What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador."

"[Interrogation room] Good cop: ""Confess and we will go easy on you"" Sweet tooth cop: ""You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!"" *runs outside*"

"I was going to make my friend some spaghetti... But sadly he pasta whey!"

"Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? I dunno, they just seem a bit shady."

"Shopping for houses, it seems like a lot of the houses in my price range need some TLC... But I don't want no scrubs."