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Joke of the Day

"Using a cellphone in 90's: ""he's prob a drug dealer"" Using a payphone today: ""he's prob a drug dealer"""

"Normal people driving by a construction site: wonder what they're building... Me: what a great place to bury a body!"

"Why doesn't r/jokes like fencers? Because they always riposte."

"If a woman wears a ponytail holder on her wrist at all times that means she's always down to pull her hair back and fight you."

"Why wasn't Christ born in Italy? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"I rate the next One Direction album... ...four out of five stars."

"terrifying if it really happened: the kiss emoji with the heart coming out of the mouth"

"I like my women how I like my coffee.. Mugged"

"Whenever I'm in doubt, I ask myself ""What would Jesus do?"" then I remember Jesus got crucified, his decision making skills weren't brilliant"

"911 what's the emergency ""Please help, I made too much spaghetti"" Relax sir, we've all been th*spaghetti starts coming out of the phone*"