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Joke of the Day

"A boy and a gorilla walk into a bar... The boy says ""first shot's on me"" The gorilla replies ""nah, I got this"""

"What shape is your hair in the morning? A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)"

"I like my women like I like my wine. About 20 years old and locked in my cellar."

"*gently places finger on caroler's lips* you had me at ""O come"""

"""You know what would make this rice even better? Racism."" - Pitch meeting for Uncle Ben's"

"Why don't birds wear underwear? Because, their pecker is on their head."

"The Magic Conch I started imagining the magic conch episode of spongebob, but with a cock in place of the conch. I think it has potential"

"You know that one relative that is annoying AF and no one in the family can tolerate? Yeah, she's staying at my house this week."

"The janitor's union called for sweeping reforms."

"What do you call an abortion at Hogwarts? *Avada kedavra!*"