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Joke of the Day
"I rate the next One Direction album... ...four out of five stars."
Next Joke
 
"By the time you finish reading this tweet, you will be slightly closer to death than you were before. I hope it was worth it."
"What's the difference between humor and odor? Humor is a shift of wit..."
"A sandwich walks into a bar. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: ""Sorry, we don't serve food in here."""
"What do you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka? A John Daly"
"Abs are for people who can't afford good food."
"Have you ever met anyone that said their dog isn't friendly? Just once I want someone to display some honesty & be like ""yeah, he's vicious"""
"I like my women like I like my government. No Bush."
"How does Dr. Dre like to be told a story? Chronic-logically."
"The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.."