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Joke of the Day

"How to rid yourself of geeks [**star wars spoilers**] thats how"

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"Few people have the balls to admit when they're wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls."
"Did you hear that Microsoft is giving away Office to parents? Word to your mother."
"What did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts."
"Just walked FACE FIRST into a spider's web on my porch. Shoutout to my neighbors who now think I love showing off my frantic break dancing."
"[Watching babies first steps] *turns to wife* Has he been drinking?"
"The girl I met last week said she wanted a guy who was ""funny and spontaneous"" I showed up at her kitchen window late at night wearing a clown suit and suddenly it's all panic and screaming..."
"People over 70 have a much different idea of what constitutes a story."
"When I sit down on a field, I automatically start pulling grass out of the ground."
"sex and air Q.why is sex a lot like air A.because it's a big deal unless your not getting any"