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Joke of the Day

"Just walked FACE FIRST into a spider's web on my porch. Shoutout to my neighbors who now think I love showing off my frantic break dancing."

"I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying. - Alex Horne"

"A chicken crosses the road... ..and meets 007 on the other side. ""What's your name?"" Asks the chicken. ""Bond, James Bond,"" Says 007. ""And how about you?"" ""Ken,"" Says the chicken. ""Chic Ken."""

"I call my mom santa.... Cause she is always calling me a ho ho ho"

"Two ninjas were having an argument Two ninjas were arguing over which one was the better ninja. The first says, ""Man, you can't even throw a ninja star."" The second ninja says, ""Shuriken."""

"Before you ever criticize someone... walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes."

"Three german soldiers... ... Walk into a BAR."

"My asian girlfriend made me mad so I replied in text message with.. -_-"

"What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate? ""Ecru, Brute?"""

"If you have a flip-phone, you are probably an undercover cop."