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Joke of the Day

"""Welcome to D.A.D.D.D.S. Dads Against Dads Doing Dumb Shit. Repeat after me."" [whole room] ""AFTER ME"" ""Ok fellas, lets start here"""

"I heard a chemistry joke the other day... I heard a chemistry joke the other day, it was sodium funny I slapped my neon that one."

"What do you call a Mexican Jedi? A Padajuan"

"How to spot a blind guy in a nudist colony? It ain't hard."

"What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? My cock while I'm doing it."

"Why are modern women more likely to pursue a STEM degree? They need to learn scientific notation to keep track of their n-count."

"My younger dog can go to sleep in about 4 seconds. The older one takes about 6 because she's got more shit to worry about, I guess."

"[dont let him know you're a sponge] Waitress: *spills drink on table* GERONIMO *bellyflops on table* SPRAY SOME CLEANER I GOT THIS oh damn"

"My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science."

"Don't ""psh"" me, Coca Cola I just opened."