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Joke of the Day

"People over 70 have a much different idea of what constitutes a story."

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"What's the difference between a redditor and a dead baby? The redditor never gets gold"
"[funeral] ok I need everyone over 70 to gather for the bouquet toss"
"69 Position I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""
"Pancakes are just crepes who let themselves go after college."
"I was feeling depressed, so I drank some brandy and went to the gym That really lifted my spirits"
"What's good on pizza, but not on dick? Cheese"
"What kind of moronic mirror thinks that Kristen Stewart is fairer than Charlize Theron?"
"My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that ""Paint"" is a stupid name for our cat"
"Prince: the artist formerly known as. . . . alive."