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Joke of the Day

"A Guy Walks Into A Bar And Sees... (nsfw, I guess) ... a dog licking its balls. He says ""I wish I could do that"" and the bartender say ""Give him a biscuit, he might let you."""

"When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along."

"A Jamaican went to the barber. It was a dreadful experience."

"*takes construction hat to vet* Please help. My turtle hasn't moved in 8 years."

"And Grandmother, what a big thighs you have! *Wolf just starts crying*"

""" So the boat was about to sink until I attached a sail to my boner and made it safely to shore"" Me if I was on the Titanic."

"Sure I'll join your Cause on Facebook...Right after I jump out of an airplane without a parachute..."

"Why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a registered six offender."

"Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong? They're always in de Nile."

"What kind of car does a Japanese chef drive? Rolls Rice"