55438

Joke of the Day

"A Guy Walks Into A Bar And Sees... (nsfw, I guess) ... a dog licking its balls. He says ""I wish I could do that"" and the bartender say ""Give him a biscuit, he might let you."""

"I'll stop at nothing... ...to avoid using negative numbers."

"It's almost Thanksgiving day... Remember to set all your scales back 10 pounds tonight."

"Psychoanalysis is just regular analysis performed by one of my exes"

"Q: What's the difference between a chicken and a grape? A: They're both green except for the chicken."

"How do you get a witch pregnant? Ya fuck her."

"What do you call two bananas? Slippers"

"My neighbor called me an old drunk which really offended me. I'm not that old..."

"""He's gone too far."" ""He crossed the line between science & ethics."" ""He's playing God."" -reaction to the amount of cheese I put in omelets"

"Why did the redneck high school cancel driver's ed class? They needed the car for sex ed."