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Joke of the Day
"Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong? They're always in de Nile."
Next Joke
"Did you hear that the Department of Agriculture is outlawing round bales of hay? They claimed the cows weren't getting a square meal."
"Who decided to call them a personal trainer and not a gym reaper?"
"My therapist asked me, ""How would leaving twitter make you feel?"" I replied by asking him, ""How would switching therapists make you feel?"""
"Opened a can of expired beans and an eagle flew out carrying a photo of a can of fresh beans. I nervously ate the photo while he observed."
"[PHONE] ""TSA, How can I help you?"" Me: ""Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!"" Agent: ""Umm..."" Me: ""DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"""
"A good friend doesn't just make you smile, they make you happy."
"Knock Knock Knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""The pilot, let me in."""
"A friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever."
"If white guys are day drinking, it's inevitable that they're going to start wrestling at some point later that night."