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Joke of the Day

"she left me for good. what am i suposed to do now? ""...there ar plenty of fish in the sea"" OK DUDE FOR THE LAST TIME IM NOT GONA DATE A FISH"

"I just successfully robbed a bank! Now what to do with all this sperm..."

"You say, ""I think we should see other people"" like I haven't been doing so ever since we started dating."

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"How come when I find a stray dog, take it home, and give it a bath everyone calls me a saint... ...but when I do it with a kid everyone just calls me a priest?"

"When I asked you for the punchline... ...I didn't think you were talking about polygamist domestic abuse."

"Me: What do you think of my tweets? Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say? Wife: You're consistent."

"Gay men make me puke I wish they wouldn't shove it down my throat."

"What do you call a crappy business man? an Entre""manure"""

"I figured out why we abbreviate BlowJob with BJ 'cuz it's a mouthful"