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Joke of the Day

"Thinking about the first person ever to get drunk. People must have been like, ""COME QUICK! JEREMIAH HAS BEEN STRICKEN WITH AWESOME!"""

"What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew? Dew diligance"

"Have you ever played the game of pocket tennis? ..it's when you like keeping your hands in your pocket, when you have holes in them and you're not wearing any underwear."

"Told my kid that he had a viral infection and now he's excited because he thinks he's going to be famous online."

"There hasn't been a ""final"" fantasy"

"What's the difference between a civilian camp and an ISIS base? I don't know I just fly the drones"

"Did you hear that the World Hokey Pokey Champion has died? At the undertakers, they were putting him into the coffin. They got his left leg in. That's when the trouble started..."

"Roses are Red, Violets are blue...... who killed harambe? Cincinnati zoo"

"What's the difference between a JCB and a giraffe? One's got hydraulics, the other's got high bollocks."

"A song called ""Baby It's Not *THAT* Cold Outside"" where I'm just trying to get the lady to leave"