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Joke of the Day
"There hasn't been a ""final"" fantasy"
Next Joke
"Wherever someone says, ""Oh, geez!"" I always think, ""OGs,"" as in ""Original Gangstas."" Whenever someone says, ""Gee whizz!"" I think, ""...gross."""
"What's the difference between a brothel and a circus? Your mother never ran away to join the circus."
"So there I was at my favorite seafood restaurant having dinner, and I told David, my favorite waiter, that TONIGHT I wanted my fish exactly how I like my wife... ...""Battered it is, sir."""
"What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off before jumping on a trampoline"
"A motorist runs over a woman. Who's to blame? The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)"
"A magician begins pulling scarf after scarf after scarf out of his front tuxedo pocket until Steven Tyler slowly fades away from all photos."
"If there is anything that chicken noodle soup and DayQuil won't cure, it's probably like, really serious or something."
"[meeting a girl at the bar] ME (nervously cracking every knuckle): hi I'm brandon GIRL: please let go of my hands"
"????My lactose-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, carb-free, nut-free, fat-free milkshake, brings all the weirdos to the yard...????"