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Joke of the Day

"Told my kid that he had a viral infection and now he's excited because he thinks he's going to be famous online."

"What do lawyers and sperm have in common? 1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being."

"OPEN UP THIS IS THE COPS What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]"

"Islam is a peaceful religion A piece over there, a piece over there, a piece over here"

"Why are people without converse shoes dangerous? Because they own none chucks."

"What gym equipment does Jesus use? A cross trainer."

"Recently found out my toaster was not waterproof I was shocked."

"Last night, I forgot about the Sun Then it dawned on me..."

"Q: How do you reuse a condom? A: Turn it inside out, and shake the fuck out of it."

"What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies? A garbage truck"