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Joke of the Day

"How long does it take a satellite to reach Uranus? Bend over and I'll show you."

"Why did the sasquatch go on a diet? He didn't want to be Obeast."

"So my drug dealer just died. I'm thinking about going to his funeral to, you know, network."

"I Just got fired from the orange juice factory. They said I could not concentrate"

"Ever heard of the undertaker who accidentally dug another body? He made a grave mistake."

"How can you tell when a bar is haunted? It's full of Boo's and Spirits."

"FARMER: you ok man? ME (from inside a well I fell into 3 days ago): all is well lol FARMER: lol ME: seriously though I think I broke my leg"

"The new pool lifeguard was talking to his boss about his experience so far ""There's an exceptional amount of friendly people here. It's been at least seven who has waved at me."""

"I mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later"

"I saw Jesus going to the bathroom today. Holy shit."