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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up and put in a freezer"

"baby proofing your house is easy, just lock your doors. There's no way they could get in unless there were like hundreds of them or somthing"

"Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one but he'll tell everybody."

"If you like someone and don't know if they like you, just sue them and then ask them under oath if they think you're cute."

"I came here to tell a gay joke... Butt fuck it."

"Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike? Because it might be your bike."

"If you get a present from me with scissors and a roll of tape trapped under the wrapping paper, I'm gonna need those back."

"ARMY WIVES SUNDAYS AT 11 ON LIFETIME. IT'S NOT TV. IT'S NOT HBO. IT'S NOT FX. IT'S NOT EVEN WE. IT'S LIFETIME. WHAT, LIKE YOU'RE SO GREAT?"

"Would you send your son to a school run by someone who insisted on being called ""Headmaster?"""

"Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America? Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China."