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Joke of the Day

"Why are pirates angry after leaving the bathroom? Because after ""p"" comes ""irate"""

"What type of cow produces both milk and potatos? Your Mother."

"Why do Irish women have small nipples? If they were any bigger their babies would get alcohol poisoning."

"Reading popular baby names. Once again, Adolf is nowhere to be found."

"Why is Donald Trump still running for president? It's the only race that he hasn't offended yet."

"Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car."

"[Sexting] ""So, what are you wearing?"" A nice blouse and a light sweater. Sensible shoes."

"Boss: Where were you on Friday? Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:..."

"There was a really horrible sound coming from my car, so I asked Siri to identify it. Skrillex."

"Law of attraction to females If I had a nickel for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."