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Joke of the Day

"Boss: Where were you on Friday? Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:..."

"If you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating... Because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything."

"Why are uncircumcised people loners? Because they're complete dicks."

"What birds are found in Portugal ? Portu-geese !"

"What's the difference between a vegetarian and a brony? A vegetarian doesn't like meat in their mouth."

"I feel like life would be so much more enjoyable if punching bags and pinatas were strategically placed throughout the day"

"How do Chinese people laugh? LMAO ZEDONG!"

"I love to purposefully mispronounce French words, but you need to do it around the right people, otherwise they act like its a huge fox pass."

"My baby was coughing and choking and I panicked because I didn't know what to do. So I grabbed the bong out her hands before she dropped it."

"Shoutout to grandpa... That's the only way he can hear."