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Joke of the Day

"What type of cow produces both milk and potatos? Your Mother."

"I got received an e-mail from my Buddhist friend... ...it was free from attachments."

"I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer."

"Kim Jong Un called me an asshole. I retorted back that he doesn't have an asshole, which is why he is so full of shit."

"Everyone was calling me a Pedo I'm 47 and she's 20, but the people in the restaurant really ruined our tenth anniversary"

"In the summer there's only so many clothes you can take off. On that note, please send bail money."

"It's a damn shame when a man works hard all week then comes home for dinner and relaxation but has to work extra hard to get love and appreciation from his woman."

"Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me."

"What is Spider-Man's favorite rice? Uncle Bens!"

"Parents that tell u ""it's just a little noise"" when their kid cries on a train are the same ones who knock on ur door when the music is loud"