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Joke of the Day

"What is Metal Gear's Snake's secret? There's a Solid, Liquid, and Solidus Snake. It seems they all passed gas."

"Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds."

"Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles."

"If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.."

"POLICE OFFICER: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""Because you know I love riddles."""

"What's the difference between an epileptic oysterman and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits..."

"What do you get when you cross a monastery with a convent? A cloister fuck, obviously."

"Apparently the safe word has changed to... NOT THERE IDIOT!!! Followed by a swift elbow to the eye...."

"What's blue and fucks grannies Pneumonia...."

"The Biggest Joke of 2016 Mariah Carey's Performance at Dick Clarks Rockin New Years Eve"