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Joke of the Day

"Jubilee is a mutant who can shoot sparks from her hands, and spontaneously destroy electronics by touching them... So she's basically like my mom, if my mom could shoot sparks from her hands."

"End of the Week by Gladys Friday"

"What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are wanted."

"2050's kids won't get this... Snow"

"I hate my dodgy household appliances... My hairdryer sucks and my vaccum blows."

"I made a Starbucks barista cry I put my name down as Dad and he stood there calling it over and over again with no reply."

"Thank you everyone! As the newest mod of /r/news, I would like to say [removed]"

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars."

"Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz"

"To all the ""I'm moving to Canada"" people out there, you're being ridiculous. You won't be far enough to escape the nuclear fallout. Shoot for New Zealand or Australia."