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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*."
Next Joke
"Justin Bieber gets 40,000 retweets just for tweeting 'Hello', so here's my attempt: Hele0iM1. Ah, harder than it looks. Fair play to him."
"Your dog may be smarter than an honor student... but when was the last time you saw a mother carrying a plastic bag in case her honor student shits in the neighbor's yard?"
"What's long and thick and turns conservative women on? The Bible"
"Instagram says it now can sell your pics without your permission. Good luck making money with pictures of Cups of coffee, Cupcakes & clouds."
"It's Friday! I'm as happy as a newborn in a topless bar!"
"I just totally misunderstood the meaning of 'Strip Mall' and could one of you guys send bail money?"
"So this dyslexic guy walks into a bra... What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexia Association"
"If an idle mind is devil's workshop, what is its kitchen and toilet?"
"I think we all know Lincoln Chaffee won the Democratic debate last night."