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Joke of the Day

"Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is!"

"On Canadian twitter they should give us 148 characters. We have extra U's in words like colour & the ""eh"" we need to add at the end."

"facebook is down where are we gonna keep all of our faces"

"What did one the left headphone say to the right headphone as they walked through a haunted house? This place feels earie."

"Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny."

"How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? 1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first."

"Original & Classic Winston Churchill (not my retort) Lady Astor said to Churchill, ""If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea,"" to which he responded, ""Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"""

"It's all fun and games until you accidently grab the hand sanitizer instead of the lube."

"always carrying a megaphone in case you have to sigh at someone far away"

"Ramen again? This guy's a mess. -mice in my kitchen"