91993

Joke of the Day

"What did one the left headphone say to the right headphone as they walked through a haunted house? This place feels earie."

"Why do girls always walk around in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even."

"There aren't many sports that couldn't be improved by adding a bear."

"*Robber runs into Chipotle* GIMME THE MONEY IN THE REGISTER ""Is this for here or to go?"" Uh. To go ""Do you want guac?"" Sure ""It's extra"""

"I don't know why, but books about medicine are hilarious. The section about urinary tract infections made me pee my pants."

"What does 36+16 equal to? A prison sentence."

"So I said to Rhianna, ""what is it Chris Brown does that 's so attractive?"", and she said,... ""Beats me!""."

"I was playing chess with my Australian friend He moved his queen in front of my king and said ""check, mate"". I replied and said, ""you didn't win though?"" Confused he said, ""mate, I know."""

"If this phone were really smart, it wouldn't let me call people."

"Selfie... Because it's important to realize that it's not the photographer who is making you look ugly."