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Joke of the Day

"Ramen again? This guy's a mess. -mice in my kitchen"

"A recent study was released on head lice stating that 95% of lice populations are resistant to treatment. Scientists are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this happened."

"Sometimes you just have to be straight up with people or they will expect you to bend over backwards."

"You could kidnap my mom and she'd still ask if you've eaten."

"This lady just said she's naming her baby Nevaeh b/c its Heaven spelled backwards. I said, just name her what she's going to end up being. Tulsa."

"What do you call 250 dead politicians? A good start."

"What's blue, white and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A fridge in a denim jacket."

"What do you get when you have a mothball in each hand? One happy big-assed moth!"

"How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? Wave to him"

"When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof... I was shocked!"