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Joke of the Day

"I lost 100 pounds... and I only got half an hour. London chicks are pricy as hell."

"Last year I took a visual design class... ...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display. I passed with flying colors."

"Me to waitress: ""Do you have frog legs?"" Her response: ""Yes.."" Me: ""Then hop on back to the kitchen and get me a steak"""

"[meeting aboard the ISS space station] Capt: all personnel are-David sit down please Me trying to open a window cos it's stuffy: in a minute"

"Hangry A state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation: feed me or i'll cut you"

"A smart Halloween costume would be an angel costume because if you died, you could just sneak your way into heaven & be like ""I'm back yall"""

"IT'S A BIRD! NO, ITS A PLANE! HOLY SHIT it's Dave!"

"I lent a hot girl my umbrella while it was raining That takes the amount of girls I've made wet to -1"

"It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike."

"What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line."