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Joke of the Day

"I lost 100 pounds... and I only got half an hour. London chicks are pricy as hell."

"What do multiculturalism and the movie Jaws have in common? They both made Americans despise great whites!"

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? It's dangerous to hit a lightbulb with a bat."

"Social Media For Drug Dealers It's called instagram"

"Maybe the reason you're not having *sexual intercourse* is because you call it sexual intercourse."

"Well, well, well...look who's come crawling back,,, asking me to repair the tire on their wheelchair."

"Every toddler is basically a 1/8th scale model of a person on bath salts."

"What kind of computer can't sing? A Dell"

"I saw Denzel Washington on the street today. I said ""Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?"" And he's all like ""I'm not Denzel Washington you racist piece of shit."" Classic Denzel."

"I have some frilly pants. They are never on time. It's OK, though... They're late bloomers"