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Joke of the Day
"Half the time, I just want to respond to an ELI5 thread with ""I'll tell you when you're older."""
Next Joke
"If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language? An American."
"How do you know when it's time to get out of the porn industry? When they hire you a cunt-double."
"Thank you student loans, for getting me through college... I don't think I can ever repay you!"
"My father always had affectionate nicknames for my older sister and me She was *oops*, and I was *oh shit*"
"Why did you drive the lawn mower over your Easter basket? I thought the plastic grass was growing too high!"
"""Are you there, God? It's me, well, you've probably never heard of me cuz I'm like really underground & shit."" -- Hipster prayer"
"What do you call a zoo that only has dogs? A Shih Tzu"
"If I had a nickel for everytime I was asked for... ...Change, I still wouldn't give it to the homeless guy"
"[Takes dog to park] *waits for romantic comedy to begin"