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Joke of the Day

"I love Halloween It's the only time of the year I'm not questioned for giving out sweets to small children."

"My girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob She's allergic to nuts"

"If you think Big Government is bad... Wait until you see *Yuge* Government."

"How do you catch a polar bear? Go to the north pole and dig a hole in the ice. Set some peas around the hole and when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick it in the ice-hole."

"what's worse than being adopted? finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up."

"Did you hear about the dinner on the moon? Great food no atmosphere."

"My therapist asked me what I'd feel if I shot someone. ""Recoil"", I calmly answered."

"How can you know that you are insecure about what other people think of your post? [deleted]"

"What saddens me is that I'll never be able to murder anyone who uses ""Not with that attitude"" as a counterargument to negativity."

"In the future, Martian singers will have to drop their albums 62% earlier in order to account for reduced gravity on Mars."