53986

Joke of the Day

"I read an article about how much college will cost in 20 years so I'm scraping some paint chips off the house for my daughter to snack on."

"What's better than a vase of roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"Policeman:""Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen. Me: how Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir"

"Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown? A: The punch lines were too long in Jonestown."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two tired"

"Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!"

"Whats a tacticians favorite cut of meat? Flank"

"How can you tell if Hillary Clinton is lying? She's moving her lips."

"Where did the ADHD kid spend his summer? (Dark) At a concentration camp."

"What are the three rules of being a plumber? Hot on left; cold on right. Shit runs downhill. Never, ever, put your tools in your mouth."